I Wielded Too Much

          I didn't know the special day. I just knew. So I prepare. And I prepare too much. I thought that could be a good idea but I it wasn't. I learned my lesson and promise that I will never do it again. And for the following days I won't talk to him. I'll make sure I will.

Can't Be That. No More PLEASE

I Fell in My Own Trap

          I'm starting to believe again to the fantasy he created for me. And I wonder until when will I be like this? I mean, until when will I keep on believing to those lousy lies? Options are always available. And that is either to escape it or to play it. What if the options won't work for me? I guess I have to go back from being a  lonely grieving heartbroken fragile lady until I reach the so called "end". Is there really and end? Or is it just me hoping that there is an end. Am I that strong? I guess I'm not. I'm too weak. Too fragile for this. And when I' m almost there at the so called end I may collapse and lose the game. And do the same thing all over again. And let this never ending pain eat me. Is this why fantasy was created? To let us feel how painful those sweet things are in the world of reality.

We All Cover Ourselves With a Nice Make-up

          Well you see these days aren't really that good. The weather is in catastrophe, a lot of people died, and I lost a notebook [I'm really freakin' out]. It's really nice how we cover up ourselves to be good in picture. To escaped with the unwanted criticism that most of our colleagues will tell us. And I'm sure nobody wants to receive that. But as we cover up ourselves to be good in their eyes, even if we are already changing ourselves for the worse, still criticisms are still ahead of us. And somehow ask yourselves, "What went wrong?". That's how rude people are, and that is why it's so hard to trust. I got so envy to those who never fails to lose the trust invested to them. I wonder how do they keep it for years?