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        "I'm not afraid of sleeping, I'm just afraid that when I woke-up everything will be back to to reality."

            It was 1:32 am when he sent a text message. That time I was busy having my own drama on how things went, and how will things go. And then I saw a familiar number, and I read it. I was a bit surprise that he still want my goodnight messages. And that made me cry. I cried because how I wish we're still together, doing our old stuffs. I missed myself spending until 2o'clock in the morning in front of my laptop tweeting with him, having a sweet corny covos with him. Or "texting" until 3 am waiting for him to sleep. Sending "Goodmorning...Text me if you're awake... Iloveyouuuu" messages and goodnight messages. I just missed dong all those stuffs not because I'm used to it, but because I want to do those stuffs to him. I want him to let him feel how much I care for our relationship and how much I want our relationship to grow longer. But unfortunately fate doesn't want to. And we ended on breaking-up.

            I felt so sad. Really sad. Every minute of the night, all I think about was how I was spending my dead hours few days ago. How I rebel to my mom just to use my laptop. How I woke-up having  my smile reached my ears. How cheerful I was. Because that night after he said the words I didn't want to hear, all I did was cry. Reminisce. Cry. And reminisce again. And when I woke-up, I want to take off my eye glasses and put on my SUNGLASSES so that they won't notice how dreadful my eyes were. How I just want to plug-in my earphones, volumes up and not let anyone to asked me the question "How are you?" , because I knew that if I would answer their question I would just lie and say "I'm fine. Really, don;t worry about me." and that sucks.

            I don't know if I am just too overreacting about this, but for me I just want to putt off all the pains inside my chest, hoping that maybe it will ease the pain that I'm going through. We're still friends, and I'm happy that we're still friends. I admit that I was hoping we could be together again, but I don't want somebody to be forced just to love me back. I will wait. I'll wait til his ready for a relationship. And if he is ready, but unfortunately not to me, I'll be fine. I'll still wait. Even of they'll thought that I was stupid to do it, I'll still do it. Because I love him this big. And I will always will.